Get weekly inspiration for living healthy, made easy. Sign up for CNN’s Life, But Better newsletter for information and resources designed to improve your well-being.
CNN
–
Holiday gatherings have a way of enhancing everyone’s personality.
I was looking forward to hosting my parents for a week over Thanksgiving, but in the limited space of a one-bedroom apartment, settling everyone’s differences was difficult.
My mother, who once struggled to create holiday traditions, has recently embraced a more relaxed approach to celebrations than the rest of my family.
My sister, a devoted cat parent who lives on the floor above me, refused to leave her cat alone after bladder surgery, making sure that there someone who is always there to take care of him.
Meanwhile, my father – the only man in a family full of women – sometimes found himself gently reprimanded for being too loud or not listening during important discussions.
As for me, my family might say that I should work to be less empathetic when a new routine I try doesn’t go as planned.
At the end of each day, we all longed for personal space and quiet time. Although saying goodbye may feel difficult, I have learned that it is important to maintain the strong bonds that my family has.
I am certainly not alone in these feelings; many people find themselves in need of a social balance during the holidays. Forty-six percent of Americans say they don’t have time to be alone during the holidays, according to a new survey commissioned by The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center and College of Medicine, released on Tuesday.
Sophie Lazarus, a psychologist in the field of psychiatry and behavior, «We have a lot of information, needs and stress in general raised during the holidays, so it is very important to pay attention to your need for alone time.» health at Ohio State and one of the producers and examiners of the research.
The survey, conducted in early October with 1,004 respondents aged 18 and over, also revealed that 56% of respondents believe that private time is important to their mental health.
The same period can vary greatly from person to person. For some, it’s just a matter of being away from people physically, while for others, it’s the ability to detach from one person, according to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a licensed psychologist and Professor Emerita of psychology at California State University, Los Angeles.
To find out whether a single session energizes or depletes you, Durvasula suggests dedicating a day and a week or a weekend to yourself and watching how it affects your mood.
If you feel rejuvenated after spending some time alone, prioritize more alone time in your schedule. However, if solitude causes a person to become depressed, it may be a sign of dependence on frequent social interactions.
To relax alone, Lazarus suggests activities that include writing, meditation, exercise and listening to music to help build self-confidence and be present when you reconnect with others.
Although alone time is important for emotional regulation, it can still be difficult when you are surrounded by loved ones who you don’t see often.
«Sometimes people think they’re not friendly or unfriendly if they want to relax and they’re worried about hurting people,» Durvasula said.
But taking time out from family gatherings can prevent petty frustrations from clouding healthy relationships. In fact, 36% of people say they are more annoyed because they don’t have enough alone time, the survey found.
«Often we can’t turn down the volume on that constant level of social surveillance,» Durvasula said.
However, there are subtle ways to incorporate alone time without formal requests, such as going for a walk, doing a single task or waking up early in the morning for a moment of peace before everyone starts their day. . Lazarus also suggests taking a few extra minutes to wash your hands or take a deep breath in your car before going to an event to refresh your mind.
For those looking to reconnect with family and friends while recovering from what may have been a stressful year, striking the right balance can be difficult, said Dr. Fallon Goodman, assistant professor of cognitive and brain sciences at George Washington University in DC.
But she also realizes that special holidays can allow for some alone time. For example, on New Year’s Eve, people reflect on their successes, challenges, and losses of the past year, and set goals to enter the new year with purpose and determination.
Everyone has a different social battery, so some loved ones may balk when you ask for time apart. «Be prepared that sometimes people will push back when you put a limit around (availability),» Durvasula said.
A one-time recommendation is also not a one-size-fits-all approach. «Instead, it’s important to tailor socializing patterns to a person’s desires and energy needs,» Goodman said.
According to the survey, it is not easy for the elderly to believe that private time is important, and Lasaro emphasizes that for those who are already lonely, it is often the right choice for others.
«The big thing is to take into account your mental health and your feelings to decide if (one-time) would be the most helpful for you,» Lasaro said.
